Thesis statements

A. Identify each of the following thesis statements as adequate or inadequate.

If the thesis is weak or insufficient in some way, explain the problem.

1. I think Schindler’s List is a really interesting movie that everyone should see.

• This thesis is weak it’s an opinion.

2. Which cars are designed better, Japanese imports or those made in America?

• This thesis is inadequate. Because it is a question.

3. Some people think that the state lottery is a bad way to raise money for parks.

•  

4. My essay will tell you how to apply for a college loan with the least amount of trouble.

• This thesis is weak. A thesis should never start with “My essay will tell you”. A better thesis is: Applying for a college loan with minimal amount of trouble can be very easy.

5. During the fall term, final examinations should be given before the Winter Break, not after the holidays as they are now.

• This is an adequate thesis. From this thesis, I know that the writer is going to tell reasons why they think final exams should be given before Winter Break.

6. Raising the cost of tuition will be a terrible burden on the students and won’t do anything to help the quality of education at this school.

• This is an adequate thesis.

7. I can’t stand to even look at people who are into body piercing, especially in their face.

• This is a weak thesis. You never start a thesis with “I can’t stand”. From this thesis, there is no way of knowing what the subject of this essay is.

8. The passage of the newly proposed health-care bill for the elderly will lead to socialized medicine in this country.

•  

9. Persons over seventy-five should be required to renew their driver’s licenses every year.

•  

10. Having a close friend you can talk to is very important.

•  

B. Rewrite the following sentences so that each one is a clear thesis statement. Be prepared to explain why you changed the sentences as you did.

1. Applying for a job can be a negative experience.

2. Skiing is a lot of fun, but it can be expensive and dangerous.

3. There are many advantages and disadvantages to the county’s new

voting machines.

4. The deregulation of the telephone system has been one big headache.

5. In this paper I will debate the pros and cons of the controversial motorcycle helmet law.

6. We need to do something about the billboard clutter on the main

highway into town.

7. The insurance laws in this country need to be rewritten.

8. Bicycle riding is my favorite exercise because it’s so good for me.

9. In my opinion, Santa Barbara is a fantastic place.

10. The Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s had a tremendous effect on

this country.

Narrow the subject and write one good thesis sentence for five of the following

topics:

1. A political or social issue

2. College or high school

3. Family

4. A hobby or pastime

5. A recent book or movie

6. Vacations

7. An environmental issue

8. A current fad or fashion

9. A job or profession

10. A rule, law, or regulation

 

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